Why, why, why, would a practice that looks so peaceful, and is so quiet, be cause for so much anxiety? One of the most common concerns I hear from people who start meditating, whether in a Christian tradition or non-theistic background, is a rising anxiety in the middle of their practice. Unfortunately in a Christian context, for many this quickly moves to guilt and sadness.
Often this is due to the confrontation of two things:
-The magnitude of the gift of life on earth
-The reality of how we have actually spent our time
A product of being human is that this comparison will leave us feeling like we are small, and perhaps worthless, and perhaps insufficient to be loved by God. But Scripture tells us we could not be further from the truth.
Recall the story of Martha and Mary, from the Gospel of Luke. In it, Jesus visits the home of Martha and Mary, and starts talking. One sister, Martha, busies herself in the kitchen preparing food for all. Mary sits at the feet of Jesus and listened, just like you do during meditation. Martha begs Jesus to get Mary working, and Jesus responds to Martha by saying “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
We can sit and listen to God when we meditate, and we should not feel anxious. I believe when anxiety rolls through us during meditation, it includes a belief that we should be doing or should have done something different. But Christ told us that this anxiety is to be expected, let it go, and just listen for awhile.
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