David Brooks, one of the more enigmatic and frustrating opinion columnists for the New York Times, recently penned a piece documenting America’s lack of civility, and begging the questions of what is causing us to treat each other so awfully, and what can heal our national ailment. Predictably, the comments section focused squarely on the former, with the internet, Republicans, and Donald Trump headlining the list of reasons.
James Martin, a Jesuit and prolific author of books on Catholicism, wrote another piece for the Times lamenting attempts to shame and embarrass the unvaccinated who have died from COVID, and schadenfreude more broadly. This article did not permit comments, but one can still easily find websites documenting the unnecessary deaths of anti-vaccine individuals.
Neither is getting what they wish, as moralism is a poor approach to modifying behavior. But the issue they are really leaning towards is that many people lack mellow hearts, but being a complete Christian demands that we cultivate and nurture a mellow heart.
Ronald Rolheiser alludes to this in his incredible text, The Holy Longing, which is as fine a place as one could start in a mission to be a better person or a more Christian person. While I believe he does a great job identifying what a mellow heart is, and why it is important to a Christian life, Christianity has largely failed to provide people training and practice to mellow their own, actual heart. In contrast, Buddhism has an amazing set of meditative practices designed to help us become more loving, compassionate, joyful, and even-keeled. All of these virtues are Christian, and will help us address both Brooks’ and Martin’s concerns.
The Four Immeasurables are part of Buddhist practice, and refer both to the virtues themselves and the meditations to develop them. My favorite book on the matter, and perhaps favorite book of all time, is Mind at Ease, by Traleg Kyagban Rinpoche. He walks the reader through many meditations, but the meat is really the four immeasurables, which are love, compassion, joy, and equilibrity. The meditations are of similar structure: one tries to cultivate the virtue in question by exercising it: build your joy by feeling joy.
As an example, here is a meditation in this tradition for building compassion, a virtue we can all agree is in sore need in your neighborhood, and worldwide:
Set aside 20 minutes. Adopt a posture which is relaxed, but alert. Take a few moments to breath deeply, and clear the mind, placing your attention in the space behind your forehead.
Think of a person you are close to, and feel compassion for her or him. Feel that person in need of consolation, and this consolation being delivered by God in the perfect way. Imagine that person finding total peace and harmony from this compassion. Relax with this person in his or her resolved state. After about 5 minutes, return the mind to equanimity.
Next, think of a person you have not seen in a long time, you recently met, or to whom you have neutral feelings. Even if you do not know what troubles this person, imagine them receiving compassion from God. Imagine all their sense of troubles evaporating and eliminated, and this person feeling loved and consoled despite these difficulties. Again, peacefully sink into this compassion, and experience it. After about 5 minutes, return the mind to equanimity.
Then, consider a person who has given you difficulty. Imagine them receiving compassion from God. Imagine all their difficulties being met by God, and melting away. See this person finding true and wholesome compassion. Again, peacefully dwell in this compassion, and experience it. After about 5 minutes, return the mind to equanimity.
Last, thank God for this opportunity. Ask that God may spread compassion to all humans, and meet their emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. Ask that God may provide you with peace and a compassionate heart for the remainder of the day.
Some men I have conducted this meditation with have mentioned that after they think of a person, and imagine that person feeling compassion, their attention moves on to other people and they sense compassion there. That’s okay! Just try to return it to the person you initially considered.
I am not a perfect person, and I have done a lot of ill in my life. But engaging in this practice has helped me build a compassionate heart, and mellowed it. And it has helped me address the complaints of Brooks and Martin. May it offer you a solution!
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